tired and alone. i feel oh so utterly and totally alone. why must i feel this way.
i try to hang out with many people and yet still feel lonely inside. all people care about is the sound of their own voice. is there someone who will listen to me and understand what i am saying? when i talk about computers to anyone (besides jeff) no one knows what i’m talking about. especially when it comes to star trek and scifi, it’s like i’m talking to a wall. sometimes i just wish there was someone out there for me. i need to feel wanted and comforted. everytime someone is interested in me they are too far away. i can’t afford to be in a relationship with someone who is an hour or more away. even if i had the money i don’t want to spend my life in the car. i suppose if it was just for sex it would be fine but that is not the type of person i am.
i wish i knew what the hell to do with my life... it seems the more i think about it, the harder it gets. maybe someday it will just come to me.
i wish i could figure out this whole anxiety business. i just need to stop worrying about everything. i wonder why i get so scared around people... so much so that it makes me sick. i suppose it is because i am always in my room all the time. i wouldn’t be if i had more money, because in order to do anything in this world you need money.
i am really tired of sucking up to people, it is really starting to bug me again. why do people have to be so annoying and stuck up and a bunch of idiots?
this world is getting real bad before it gets better, although i don’t think it will get better in my lifetime.
technology is great but it is transforming society into a fast-paced, fat, lazy, impatient mess. everybody wants everything immediately, now, right away. well sorry we are not robots you’ll have to wait.
why do rich people think they own the world and think they never will make enough. i don’t understand the concept of buying extremely expensive apparel anymore. why would you spend extreme amounts of money on something you probably won’t wear next year. i have learned that you have to live within your means (although i don’t always follow it completely).
i am always trying hard to eat healthy and stay in shape but depression keeps pulling me down and making me lazy.
everywhere i look someone has someone, it is insane that i haven’t had someone in 2 years and counting. i am good-looking, smart, nice, and sexy.
i have been made fun of most of my life and everytime i go out i feel like someone is making fun of me. i probably look vulnerable because i am always walking so fast and am always in a standoffish position. i wish there was someway i could feel more comfortable around people. i wish i were more social and outgoing like most of the people i know. i would love to feel comfortable around people and eat as much as i want and not look around like people are staring at me and laughing at how skinny i am. you know what, screw them, most of these bitches in these restaurants are fat asses anyway (buffet buffalos).
i actually understand why some people are fat (genetics,and laziness got to them) it is just not necessary. it is all about portions. if people would just eat less, they wouldn’t have a problem.
why in the world are there republicans and democrats? we should all just work together to build a better tomorrow! that is the problem with people, it’s that they don’t want to work together, all they care about is the money in their wallets. i don’t ever want to make enough money to look down on people, which is what i have seen when you make too much money and don’t have a budget. sometimes it is good to be restricted in what you can and can not spend. i am finding the price of everything now becoming increasingly harder to afford every year, it’s quite insane. sometimes we wish we grew up rich so we’d have an easier building block for a brighter future. why must the middle-class struggle so much? i’d love to see the rich suffer, i’d love to see the tables turn, wouldn’t you?
i would love to fast forward through time to see if humanity really does get any better. we probably blow ourselves up in a couple of years.
the news is absolutely bs most of the time, trying to strike fear in us all. it drives me mad just thinking about all the crap they over exaggerate. terror alert this and terror alert that. PEOPLE, DO WHAT YOU DO NORMALLY EVERYDAY, THEY ARE LYING TO YOU!!! how can anyone watch that crap everyday? what is the point in it anyway? to talk about depressing things that just make us sad, i don’t think so.
why is this world so full of hate and violence. why can’t we all just get along. we are all part of the same collective (the human race). stop discriminating and start loving. it is because of crazy religion, power, and money that this world is so fucked up. why hate gay people? why hate people of a different color? we were all born on this earth, join together to put this planet we live on back together.
i wonder how many other planets in the galaxy ends up like ours. you would think that it would be easier to stick together but apparently it isn’t. why is it that people are so petty on this planet. this country hates that country and he stepped on my land and they didn’t help us, waaaa waaa waaaa. shut up you bunch of whiney ass people. enough is enough.
when was it ever necessary to kill someone. let me guess, when someone killed someone else. hmmmm, if no one killed in the first place we wouldn’t have this problem. who threw the first stone? men are nothing but neanderthals. ever since the beginning of time, man has always killed, it is in our blood. but really, can’t we grow past that.
how can anyone live with themselves after killing someone? i would feel horrible for the rest of my life and couldn’t bear to live. i could never kill a living thing.
WE SHOULD ALL LIVE IN HARMONY!!!!!
Yeah, I know its kind of depressing but hey, thats the way I felt at the time, much better now. Just thought Id throw that out there...
Love ya bitches, have a wonderful new year!!!
Nick
